Educating Carl…

Educating Carl...Flying back we missed our connecting flight in Zürich and had a 13 hour layover! So, I hit the streets! It’s Zürich! Look what the hell I found!… Read on and I’ll tell you about it, and Carl too

I was just wandering around after a taxi dropped me off in what I asked for as a “good spot” downtown. I grabbed a coffee, yum, grabbed some chocolate, stereotypical but also yum, and bought a book for the reminder of the flight home. I had time to kill, so I figured I’d just walk and take it all in. This was probably my 10th time there, but it’s always amazing!

Any how, I was walking with an elderly lady, practicing my (bad) Schweizerdeutsch (german, or high-german, spoken in Germany, is NOT Swiss german) and as we parted ways, I looked up and saw it… I couldn’t take my eyes off it, I was completely mesmerized! W-O-L-F-O-R-D! I ran like I was on fire! Barely “back” for a few hours and by the grace of heaven, well it was heaven! Look, look, look!…

To make this long story short, I carried my bulging bags around town for several more hours and headed back to the airport. On the plane I sat next to Carl from Houston, who happened to be in a suit and tie (Hi Carl!) A few hours into our cruising altitude, and after a short nap, I awoke and pulled my bag out from under the seat to rummage through my delectable purchases.

As I sat reading every word on every package, he seemed to be periodically glancing my way over his laptop and smirking… perhaps because I was occasionally wiggling my hips in my seat, or twirling my hair with my fingers, or bouncing my knees up and down. Finally he closed his computer, turned my way, and started up our conversation…

You look like you’re having fun.”
Sorry” I said, “hope I’m not bothering you.”
Not in the slightest. You just seem to really enjoy your… pantyhose???

After briefly explaining my trip and my day, his face turned to puzzlement. Then we went on…

Why do you need so many? My wife can’t stand those things.”
You wear a tie every day?
Yes, on workdays.”
How many do you have?
More than I can count. You can never have too many.”
Why’s that?
I always get them for my birthdays and at Christmas. They give my shirts some flair, don’t you think.”
So you basically tie a noose around your neck each morning because you like the way it looks?
I suppose you could put it that way.”

I handed him a pair of tights and saidThat’s why I need so many!

He smiled and handed them back to me. “No, I said, you keep them… Give them to your wife. Tell her you picked her up a pair of $80 pantyhose in Zurich!

Carl’s been educated!…

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