Huh? Wonderfalls…

wonderfalls-01You can’t talk, you don’t have a larynx!“…

I’m not sure what to say about Wonderfalls? Caroline Dhavernas as Jaye is crazy, pessimistic, confused, SARCASTIC, lost, impatient and a million other screwy things.

“…Jaye is the reluctant participant in conversations with various animal figurines — a wax lion, brass monkey, stuffed bear, and mounted fish, among others — which direct her via oblique instructions to help people in need…

I’m only half way through; so far though, Wonderfalls is kinda wonderful(ish)… Sample some of Jaye’s more colorful dialogue & draw your own conclusion?…

  • “- Did you just say “My ass” ?”
  • “- Wait, I can’t let you give me your last eight dollars. Here’s five back.”
  • “- I guess I thought if I could just get my sister laid the little wax lion might just shut up.”
  • “- Stitching a skin suit out of my dead corpse after you stab me and steal my organs?”
  • “- Except it’s telling me to break a tail light. Which is vandalism. Which is the Devil’s work. Which is why one little exorcism is not too much to ask.”
  • “- Oh, yeah, this is a laugh-riot. This is where I would most like to be – standing in the freezing cold being called a liar by a nun and coerced by a Wax Lion to commit crime. It’s so much fun!”
  • “- You little bastard! I can’t afford my insurance premiums as it is!”
  • “- Did you Agnes of God her? Yeah. I bet he Agnes of God-ed all over her!”
  • “- If you wanna slap him, I’ll totally look the other way.”
  • “- You’re not suppose to talk to strangers. Piss off.”
  • “- What do you mean, “like me”? There is no “like me”. I’m not “like anything” and if I were, it certainly wouldn’t be me.”
  • “- I don’t have a choice; I’m a puppet. The universe just sticks its hand up my butt, and if I don’t dance, people get hurt!
  • “- So, how long have you been using the Republican Party as a lesbian dating service?”
  • “- It’s a ploy. She’s making him want her more. That way he won’t see it coming when she bites his head off.”
  • “- Because… I’m a snowy owl love killer. I’m a man-eater. I just – I was hoping things would be different with Eric. I thought maybe I could just nibble. But a natural predator can’t just nibble.”
  • “- What do you mean, “I guess”? I’ve never seen anyone work so hard to get someone else laid in my entire life. You’re like the total mack daddy bird pimp.”
  • “- I make good life choices. Mostly because they’re forced on me, but I make them. And I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We’re all fate’s bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.”
  • “- What if we’re too late? What if he’s already beat her to death with a bag of oranges for withholding trick money?”
  • “- No! No, no, we’re done! No more talking from things that don’t talk, we had a deal! Ask him!”
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wiki, wiki Wonderfalls

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